From the Kitchen Floor: Musings of a 36-Year-Old New Year’s Baby

January 1st, 2025 (posted on 1/8)

I’m kicking off 2025, the first morning of my 36th year, sitting on my kitchen floor trying to coax my dog, Charli, inside the house.

Charli is a little traumatized from last night’s NYE festivities. Despite not being forced to hang out with anyone, having two bedrooms all to herself, a crunchy pig ear, a heated blanket, and frequent visits from me, she’s not convinced the house is safe and empty. It looks and smells different, and her last memory of downstairs includes a lot of rowdy people. She’s a bit out of sorts but generally fine.

When I first got her a year and a half ago, Charli was pretty terrified of most things—large crowds, men, children, big cars, bikes, scooters, the lint roller, aluminum cans, etc. The most ironic of them all was loud noises. But something about her sweet face (and her calm demeanor, tolerance of cats, and need to be with another dog) told me she was the dog for me.

Charli has a safe spot under the deck she goes to when something inevitably spooks her. Sometimes, she comes back in ten minutes, and sometimes, it takes her longer. Sometimes, I have to use tough love and crouch/crawl under to get her. Rescuing a dog means recognizing that they may always have their quirks and that triggers can arise. It’s my responsibility to keep her safe physically and emotionally. Plus earning the trust of a skittish animal is something like a badge of honor. I feel like the luckiest lady knowing she’s grown to choose me as I chose her.

As I sit in the kitchen with the back door open, tossing stale chips onto the deck, I strive to earn her trust once again. While I know Charli loves and trusts me, I occasionally catch a glimpse of the dog I first rescued and wonder about her life before coming to me, aside from her time with her wonderful foster mom. She’s just not a party girl. She sometimes needs reassurance and to come around in her own time. The thing is, I will do this 1000 times over.

But the love of this dog, despite our current situation, is the # 1 reason I am a respectable human being on a daily basis. Sure financial security of a job, my integrity, and my cat Minerva also act as huge motivators. But those who know what I mean know what I mean. On days when I feel like I can’t show up for me, I’ll be damned if I don’t show up for her.

So where is this going? I’ll get there.

Being a New Year’s baby is really fun. And as much as I don’t think anyone needs to make New Year’s resolutions, for me, turning a new age at the start of a new year feels like a clean slate. These are the things I am going to be reminding myself of:

First, we all have our shit. No matter how far we’ve come or how much personal work we’ve done, our challenges can and will resurface. When they do, be kind to yourself.

Second, we each have our own timeline. Just like Charli, it may take you longer than others to get to where you want to be. It may take you less time. What matters is not how long it takes, how old you are when you get there, or the mistakes you make along the way. Celebrate every step of the journey.

Third, just because something doesn’t go as planned doesn’t mean the experience lacks value. While sitting on the (possibly sticky) kitchen floor wasn’t how I envisioned the start of 2025, there was still a lesson to be learned.

As I turn 36, I would like to start showing up for myself in the same way I do for Charli – and you should too.

With unconditional but sometimes tough love.

With unwavering patience and consistency.

With humor and empathy.

It took me all day to help Charli forget about the chaos of New Year’s Eve but she’s back to her normal self. Her trust in me is a gift, and it strengthens my commitment to never let her down.

As we approach January 20th (and the new administration), we have to prioritize self-compassion amidst the challenges of the upcoming year. By showing up for ourselves, we can keep showing up for our communities and loved ones who will inevitably need us.

Peace, love, and Happy New Year!

Here’s a picture of Charli enjoying?? the recent snow: